In short, there were lots of reasons we could have just called it a day and gone home. This wasn't on my to-do list today but there was a space here, right in that moment when I got to decide what to do and how to feel about the situation that had presented itself to me. I could be bummed and resentful that my retirement day practice had gotten cut short, I could be embarrassed and triggered that I got a call from the teacher at school because my daughter was losing her sh*t, or I could be grateful and take advantage of this extra free time with my kiddo that seemed to be needing some help.
I swear I don't hate you. I don't find you annoying. I don't think you are (insert whatever horrible thing you think about yourself here).
The truth is, that I absolutely know that you are doing the best you can in this moment. I absolutely know that you have one of the most difficult jobs in this place. And I absolutely know that I could never do what you do so well.
Are you a people pleaser? Have you ever said those words in reference to yourself during an interview? Like most women, I was taught as a child to do as I was told, to act in a way that would please others and to always think of others' feelings first. What if I told you that all of that leads to a lifetime of people-pleasing that led me to make some of the worst decisions of my life. Not sure if you are a pleaser or a giver? Keep reading and I'll do my best to explain why pleasing is a path to unhappiness and how I found my way back to giving.
We are all energetic beings. When we think things, feel things, visualize things, this sets our energy vibrating at a certain "wavelength" so to speak. The thing about the law of attraction is that for every vibration you have, if you keep that vibration long enough (68 seconds at least) the universe will match it with something and you will attract it back to yourself. So that angry client? If you sit and stew and worry and complain about it, you are attracting more of them back to you.
Empathy is great for certain circumstances but euthanasia is not one of them if I am the doctor delivering it. By definition empathy is sharing the feelings and emotions of another. Not only is that exhausting for me but it puts me on an emotional roller coaster all day every day. It brings me down and makes me less effective for the rest of the day. THIS is empathy fatigue and it is real.
When I began doing personal development work one of the most helpful things that I learned from Stacey Martino was "it's not about you". It's not about you is a kind of mantra that I keep close at hand at work all day, everyday so that I can rely on it when I need it. And trust me, with the work we do, we need it a lot.